There are some things I can't do.
Here they are:
1. Eat without a table. One of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind, is the table. Great for sitting at, putting your cuppa on, writing at, smashing your head on when life is too hard, and my all time favourite, eating meals at. I find it very very difficult, almost impossible, to eat from a plate, without a table. You've often got the, 'let's sit on the couch' option...which is lovely, except the space between my lap and my mouth is too great a distance for my fork to traverse, so I tend to slouch really close to my plate like an emu. Even worse is the Church lunch 'grab a plate, fill it up, and eat it'. Holding my plate and cup in one hand leaves not many hands left for eating with... In our house, we don't have a dining table, so I tend to get around all my problems by putting my plate on the coffee table and sitting on the floor - genius!
2. Walking behind someone. I'm not entirely sure where this comes from, but I find it very hard to walk directly behind someone. I think it makes me feel stifled - I can't walk at a normal pace, in case I bump into them. My legs tend to start to spread out as a walk, Wild West/Gangnam style, so that I don't accidentally step on the heels of the person in front of me. Usually, I don't last long, before I try and overtake, or just step to the side.
3. Having my food touching. I have always found it difficult to eat my food when it's touching the other food on my plate. For example, why would anyone ever want to have their lamb chop smudged with mashed potato...when they can have their lamb chop, and then their mashed potato and enjoy them both in their awesomeness. So, when my plate was dished up, quick as a ninja, I would separate with a 1 millimetre gap all the elements of the meal. Yum!
Here they are:
1. Eat without a table. One of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind, is the table. Great for sitting at, putting your cuppa on, writing at, smashing your head on when life is too hard, and my all time favourite, eating meals at. I find it very very difficult, almost impossible, to eat from a plate, without a table. You've often got the, 'let's sit on the couch' option...which is lovely, except the space between my lap and my mouth is too great a distance for my fork to traverse, so I tend to slouch really close to my plate like an emu. Even worse is the Church lunch 'grab a plate, fill it up, and eat it'. Holding my plate and cup in one hand leaves not many hands left for eating with... In our house, we don't have a dining table, so I tend to get around all my problems by putting my plate on the coffee table and sitting on the floor - genius!
2. Walking behind someone. I'm not entirely sure where this comes from, but I find it very hard to walk directly behind someone. I think it makes me feel stifled - I can't walk at a normal pace, in case I bump into them. My legs tend to start to spread out as a walk, Wild West/Gangnam style, so that I don't accidentally step on the heels of the person in front of me. Usually, I don't last long, before I try and overtake, or just step to the side.
3. Having my food touching. I have always found it difficult to eat my food when it's touching the other food on my plate. For example, why would anyone ever want to have their lamb chop smudged with mashed potato...when they can have their lamb chop, and then their mashed potato and enjoy them both in their awesomeness. So, when my plate was dished up, quick as a ninja, I would separate with a 1 millimetre gap all the elements of the meal. Yum!
Aha,you're a bit of a crack up! (I usually put all my food together in a wrap and eat it whilst trailing 5cm behind someone's feet)
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