Going outside your normally sphere of ministry is bound to be a challenge and stretch you in a number of ways. I'm always excited about new opportunities, to grow and to see the different things I would learn. Most of the things I learnt in India, I learnt because I naturally wanted to function the way that's best for me - instead of thinking about how things might be best for our group. Here's some of the classics:
1. It takes a long time to move people! I tend to be a fairly quick operator when it comes to getting going, and I'm comfortable operating under a fair bit of urgency (I can always walk faster-or run, skip meals, function on no sleep). But that's one person. When you try to move a group of 14 from A to B, and everyone moves at their own pace, it can take a long time. This became a harsh reality when we missed our train from Delhi - it's not as simple as grabbing your bag and running for the train - so that's where it hit me, how long it takes to move everyone. This kind of realisation meant over compensating on time for every situation. Get people up earlier, or meet at the tree earlier - someone was bound to be late anyway...or forget a water bottle, camera, jacket, etc.
2. Even the simplest of everyday routines becomes draining. For me - routine is everything. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's regular, I'm fine - but that's just me! For others, getting up at 6:30am every morning, having a bucket bath, and being down to breakfast by 7am, can get tiresome after a few days...especially when breakfast is always rice with curry. For me, it just worked! Some days, the boys would roll out of bed at 6.59, scoff some food, and go back. Not everyone operates on routine the same way. Some times a break, a sleep in, or something different to eat is important to break that monotony. I had to learn to care for our team the way they needed, not the way I thought was best!
3. You can't fast forward relationships! When you've got a three week opportunity to meet people, become friends, try and invest, you can't rush things. Sure, by the end of our time there, we had some close friendships with some of the children. But, when it comes to relationships - you can't pretend that we can just assume all the groundwork. Relationships take time - heaps of time - to build camaraderie, friendship, trust! Maybe investing more time in relationships in the early days, and less time being busy with other things, would have helped a lot!
4. Finding the familiar - in a world where everything is different, there is great comfort in the familiar. For me, it happened about 10 days into our work. We were getting pretty tired, and were working on some monotonous library work. We'd thought we made a mistake (which we hadn't), but ended up having to labour pretty hard over this one thing. I was pretty annoyed at myself about the mistake (which wasn't actually a mistake), and tired too I guess, but when I knocked on Hepsi's door and asked for a normal cup of black tea (without a million teaspoons of sugar), the familiar was so nice! Just a cup of tea in the morning, seemed to make it all ok! I needed to make a greater effort to recognise the familiar for our team! I think for the boys, it was KFC!
5. Face Time - just talking things through is so important. Not everyone is going to make the most of time in group meetings to share how they are going - but we need to keep talking things out and helping each other adjust to our different experiences. Not everyone is going to be 'ok' all the time! I need to learn to be a good question asker - to be able to make the most of our time sharing our experiences and responses and getting to the heart of concerns and issues not in a formalised way. With a group this size, you can't expect to do this in team time, so making the most of other time to invest in each individual is so important - following up on key experiences, checking different responses, gauging different emotional levels. I needed to find more ways to engage!
1. It takes a long time to move people! I tend to be a fairly quick operator when it comes to getting going, and I'm comfortable operating under a fair bit of urgency (I can always walk faster-or run, skip meals, function on no sleep). But that's one person. When you try to move a group of 14 from A to B, and everyone moves at their own pace, it can take a long time. This became a harsh reality when we missed our train from Delhi - it's not as simple as grabbing your bag and running for the train - so that's where it hit me, how long it takes to move everyone. This kind of realisation meant over compensating on time for every situation. Get people up earlier, or meet at the tree earlier - someone was bound to be late anyway...or forget a water bottle, camera, jacket, etc.
2. Even the simplest of everyday routines becomes draining. For me - routine is everything. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's regular, I'm fine - but that's just me! For others, getting up at 6:30am every morning, having a bucket bath, and being down to breakfast by 7am, can get tiresome after a few days...especially when breakfast is always rice with curry. For me, it just worked! Some days, the boys would roll out of bed at 6.59, scoff some food, and go back. Not everyone operates on routine the same way. Some times a break, a sleep in, or something different to eat is important to break that monotony. I had to learn to care for our team the way they needed, not the way I thought was best!
3. You can't fast forward relationships! When you've got a three week opportunity to meet people, become friends, try and invest, you can't rush things. Sure, by the end of our time there, we had some close friendships with some of the children. But, when it comes to relationships - you can't pretend that we can just assume all the groundwork. Relationships take time - heaps of time - to build camaraderie, friendship, trust! Maybe investing more time in relationships in the early days, and less time being busy with other things, would have helped a lot!
4. Finding the familiar - in a world where everything is different, there is great comfort in the familiar. For me, it happened about 10 days into our work. We were getting pretty tired, and were working on some monotonous library work. We'd thought we made a mistake (which we hadn't), but ended up having to labour pretty hard over this one thing. I was pretty annoyed at myself about the mistake (which wasn't actually a mistake), and tired too I guess, but when I knocked on Hepsi's door and asked for a normal cup of black tea (without a million teaspoons of sugar), the familiar was so nice! Just a cup of tea in the morning, seemed to make it all ok! I needed to make a greater effort to recognise the familiar for our team! I think for the boys, it was KFC!
5. Face Time - just talking things through is so important. Not everyone is going to make the most of time in group meetings to share how they are going - but we need to keep talking things out and helping each other adjust to our different experiences. Not everyone is going to be 'ok' all the time! I need to learn to be a good question asker - to be able to make the most of our time sharing our experiences and responses and getting to the heart of concerns and issues not in a formalised way. With a group this size, you can't expect to do this in team time, so making the most of other time to invest in each individual is so important - following up on key experiences, checking different responses, gauging different emotional levels. I needed to find more ways to engage!
Yea, CoffeeDay!! Actually, one of the most refreshing times was when we waited until everyone was wrapping up for the night, and then you and I took our work down to that cafe, and I had a fruity tea. It was so nice to just sit in the cafe and write Bible studies or whatever - just like at home - and the peace and quiet was so nice!
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